Sunday, August 29, 2010


Argh! What is wrong with all these bloggers??? Why can't anyone write something good about love? Ugh!I just hope these people don't decide to go for anti-depressant pills or people who really need would end up going crazy! Love isn't a gate to hell of suffering,longing,crying, chest-beating,drinking,smoking,cursing, singing pathetically depressing Operas and just "dreaming" romance! And when I tell this to a fellow blogger, she says, "Shut up! This is what I experienced!!!" You loved someone and you remember just this part? How he left you or why he can't be yours or why you guys can't be together? So shall I take it that all of you were pulled into a theater and shown this really long movie called "LOVE" and you were really pissed off about the movie and then decided to review it such horrifying language that people like me who still haven't fallen in love would be scared shit to do so! Believe me, the stuffs that you guys write I don't think even half of it is real! If all that were true then you have spent a good part of your life sulking and wetting pillows! Gosh! Did I give you one more topic to regret and sulk!
I have read so many of your posts and all of you write the same way! So love has committed a mass-murder? What is it? Some Chinese Whisper without the whisper? I am getting serious doubts about love now! Is it really worth it? May be yes! If it can cause a mass-hysteria of such scale then it's worth a try!
But for once can anyone write how beautiful love can be? Write about yout Papa-mama's love then! Ugh! Love and victimization!
PS: Sorry guys. I am just someone who is trying to figure out life and it's complications. I truly believe that you guys are great and lucky that you write so beautifully. Bloggers like Raaji, wildflower(wrote your name with a 'w' :-) ), Mayz are so good that after reading them I start questioning my own beliefs. And reading so much bad about love just gave me an upset tummy! And so I puked. If so much and so "not good" goes inside then it surely would give serious "burp" issues. Sorry if it stinks!  :(
You guys taught me to write honestly and I wrote what I felt I should!  SORRY! I sorta worship you all! Forgive me! I am just a toddler! :(

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The inexplicable, unavoidable

I stand in front of the mirror, combing my hair and thinking of him at the same time. I notice that the two buttons at the top are not buttoned and I blush. What is this feeling Saira ? How can I be shy of him when he isn't here?
I then see the reflections of the bougainvillea blooms at the corner and turn around, startled to find them by the window. Strange they have been there for years and stranger that they surprise me every time. I walk to the window and reach out to pluck one off the branches. But then my arms don't reach the flowers. I can see them and their reflection but I can not touch them. Is this a message Saira? Why have started slipping into such thoughts? 
I pull out the strands of hair from between the teeth of the comb, roll them into a ball, no, in a ring and slip it on my finger. My thick, oiled hair in the shape of a ring around my finger and I am amused as if I have been touched by the finality of an event. Isn't it insane of me Saira? Isn't it crazy the way I think about him? We haven't even stepped into the rain and I am already drenched. I don't even know who is he but I think I have all the answers. Is it love? Oh! You must meet him! I can't tell you his name! We haven't met each other but we meet everyday. I hope you have withstood my crazy talks for long and I know that you would understand every bit of it.  
Till now we are just strangers. We have just talked for a few times, and a few times we have exchanged a few soft glances. But then do you really need someone close to you all the time to feel close? I don't know but the distance  pushes me close to him.
I don't know Saira, but I am scared. This isn't the first time I have felt this. How am I going to trust this feeling then? I can't let that happen to me again, can I? You were there when it all happened. How could you smile then? How could let me do this to myself? But I shall give myself a chance to explain myself. I am not a kid anymore.  
But yes! It's so true a feeling! I love this feeling! Who cares what it would bring, I will take in what is beautiful, what's worth keeping, what's worth cherishing! Oh Saira! This love...doesn't matter it becomes painful at times but then what about those moments that leave behind a tingle? The feeling of falling in love, in love and the being so close to someone who isn't next to you! This is what love is made of! This is why it is so beautiful. And why not Saira? Love broke my heart once but I know how all it was, how beautiful it was, how it helped me face the sun and the storm, how beautiful it made my nights! Oh Saira, fall in love once! For me, for your friend!

Friday, August 20, 2010

First scribble!

Gawd! I don't know if should be here! But hell ya! I already am feeling good about this! Now first of all I am not that much of a writer but still I am gonna give my very first post my very best shot!
Ok, so I am an aspiring journalist and hold the wish to turn this whole world upside down with my Reynolds! But then it isn't that easy. Everyday I wake up with a dream of being everything that my pocket diary hides in its pages. The small diary inside my jute jhola keeps reminding me about my dreams, the big dreams of a small town girl. But what are my dreams? They are not just some cosmetic parades of some high flying wishes. No, I never dream of sitting on a plush chair with an editing desk in front of it and surrounded by glitzy decors of a cabin with polished wooden walls. But I do dream of walking out tired from my office, which still is a bit hazy (I haven't even chosen the wallpapers of my office! ;-) ), take a cab to the necklace road and spend rest of the evening watching the sun disappear behind the concrete jungle. And my dream finishes there, right there, with the setting of the sun I am jolted back to reality, to my single room that I share with my roommate and all I have got in the name of sun are the rays pouring in through the half open ventilators! Sigh!
 I still haven't figured out my plans about life. Still haven't figured out how my prince charming would look. And still haven't figured out the stories that I would be writing here. But that should be left to life isn't it? Who knows, may be someday, in some godly hour, I will figure out all of it!